We saw Catherine regain her Vincent in “Kidnapped”
We saw her try to take back their history, almost with arrogance, where there was Muirfield with the kidnapping and the amnesia had broken it off.
We know that just when they seemed to be on track to renew the ranks of what they had been, Vincent, under pressure for not remembering, lost control.
Therefore the Catherine we follow in this episode is a girl totally confused.
Think of her during the first season… Never a hesitation, never a concern in trust, blindly reliant on Vincent despite his condition.
Perhaps doubts about his feelings in the beginning but fears of the bestial side? Never, not once.
Even when, at the start of this season, finding Vincent with his memories totally blown away, never for a moment had she thought that he could act in a nothing but protective way with her, with the same concern and the same care that had led him to cross her path the first time when they met in the woods.
But on the roof, on their roof the night before, there was nothing of Vincent in that tremendously handsome but hopelessly distant guy that, just to stem the destabilizing power Cat exercised, tried to dismiss her as one night stand or worse, moved her over with a shove, trying to oppose the magnetic attraction he felt towards her.
The effects of that have been devastating to Catherine, pulverizing in one moment, memories, hopes and confidence.
The one we meet the next morning is a girl fragile like a cracked crystal, whose certainties fell short in a stroke, leaving the field open to disappointment, doubt and dismay.
Her recent life had been informed and influenced by her choice of loving Vincent fully and totally, in the absolute conviction that it was worth it in spite of everything.
Vincent, on the otherhand, had always returned this dedication with the most complete, generous and caring love that she could conceive, upholding every day her choices’ value.
When he was gone, she had consumed her life trying to find him again, canceling herself and herexpectations, strong of the awareness that the only way to live a happy life could have been with him at her side.
Even when she learned to be a stranger to him, she didn’t waver for a moment, animated by the certainty that the intensity and uniqueness of the love he felt for her were unshakeable, albeit hidden, in spite of the perverse maneuvers hatched by mysterious puppeteers.
That’s why now we find her so lost, annihilated by the painful awareness that everything has gone, perhaps Vincent is no longer the same person and perhaps, for her own good, she must be brave and distant from him..
Cat can’t trust Vincent anymore because she can no longer be certain of his feelings for her.
Long before the fear of being phisycally hurt, there is the immense abyss of fear to be set aside because feelings for her have vanished, despite first impressions, washed away with the memory, hopelessly.
This is all that moves Catherine in this episode: fear and despair thinking she’s not loved by Vincent anymore.
Everything is worsened by Heather revealing the truth about Thomas… All that Cat had thought of her family vanishes through her fingers like a handful of sand carried by the wind.
Lies… more than Vincent’s shove Cat seems to be hurt by determination with which he deceives the simulating memory of the pool.
Everything on which Cat has tried to base her life crumbles under her feet.
Vincent’s lie is the inexorable blow to her innermost desire to trust, torn to pieces by disappointments.
The Catherine who plots against Vincent and deceives him, provoking him – giving us one of the most intriguing and seductive dance scenes of recent times – is nothing but an emotionally distraught girl clinging to a shred of fragile rationality to dominate the involvement that links her to this guy, synonymous now of unreliability and danger.
Only through living Catherine’s sadness and disillusion do we get her painful final gesture, her hand stretched for the first time to lower the glass to break off the contact.
It’s the same Catherine who a few hours earlier, on the phone, had been caught by enthusiasm and emotion just hearing Vincent pretending to remember a memory.
Here are her feelings, intact, but the world has so much demanded this girl… to shut a window may seem a good way to shelter from the storm that is fraying the strings of her soul.
As for Vincent… All of him confesses that his shoving Cat on the roof has hurt him as much as her.
The agony and the misery that afflicted him whilst talking with JT, the pain with which he pronounces the words ”I hurt her”, the care with which, leaving, he asks JT himself to take care of Catherine.
Later in the houseboat, in front of Catherine, the relief and the hope that his gesture has not threatened their connection and later, at her place, the disappointment in sensing her lies…
Every one of Vincent’s gestures, every look, every word until the dancing, tell of a guy bewildered and mesmerized at the same time by the intensity of a bond that he cannot read or explain but cannot deny.
He does not remember Catherine.
With Tess and Gabe around her, with her involvement in what she does for work, Vincent cannot even be sure that Cat is not secretly plotting against him, partner of obscure actors in an attempt to obstruct Vincent’s own missions.
He does not remember her.
Does not remember anything of that special dimension that their feelings had created, nothing of their unique world, built on love, generosity, courage and acceptance without fear.
He is tremendously attracted to Catherine. Incredibly touched by her. Kidnapped by the emotions she stirs in him.
But he cannot trust his feelings.
He cannot precede emotions and desires to duty.
Then here he is, living that whirlwind dance as a challenge, holding her in his arms with a sweetness that contrasts with the harshness of his expression, though persuaded deep down to have nothing more than a clash to share with her, both embittered by mutual betrayals.
But it’s just a moment.
Danger once more changes everything.
It’s that moment when – do not count being a man or beast – rationality is wiped out, giving way only to instinct… That’s the moment Vincent sees himself saving Catherine, getting that his love for her is the answer to make sense of all he has felt and is feeling from the moment he crossed her eyes and heard the beating of her heart.
What he sees in his memories suddenly gives way even to Catherine’s behavior, no more space for doubt about her feelings too.
The power and intensity of emotions that invest Vincent are the first glimpses of truth in the mist of darkness and doubts that surround his life.
Catherine is his truth.
Instinct and heart, along with all that pushed him relentlessly towards her, did not lie and are the certainties on which he wants to set his present and his future.
So here he is on that fire escape, once more, to profess a love that has always bewitched us and will never cease to.
It’s the intensely moving relief with which he now proves to understand Cat’s behavior.
Overflowing, the vibrant intensity with which he feels ready to pick up the thread of everything that binds him to her… “I’m not going to push you away anymore”
No matter that the window is closed, for now.
Never mind that Catherine does not notice that the guy now, despite not remembering, cannot wait to get back to being himself.
No one can be unharmed by a love like this.
She knows it. So do we.
Everything was born on that fire escape.
Everything can be resumed from there.
Edited by Lisa